You
must always try to buying your pie from the two official shops, Victoria
Park, Canton or Paget Street, Grangetown.
The
oven in the shops have only one setting Very Hot
You
always buy a hot pie straight out of the oven and eat it as soon as
possible. But if you have to take a cold one, remember the pie is from the
official shop and will be freshly made that day.
The
Clarkies is build to be eaten in your hand in the upright position while
walking.
A true Clarkies devotee can’t wait to
get home and will eat a pie while walking home or sitting in a vehicle outside
the shop so you can nip back in for another one.
A professor of the Clarkies at Cardiff University as produced a paper on how
to eat the clarkies.
Take a small bite out of the top of the pie
to let the build up of heat out. This is especially necessary if the pie
comes out of the Clarks Pie shop oven.
Remembering to move the pie away from your face or you could end up in
Swansea Morriston Hospital in the burns unit.
Once the pie as cooled down nibble around the pie in clockwise or anti-
clockwise directions until you reach the rich meat filling.
Remember to test how hot the filling is before the all-important first
bite.
There are two school of thought on how to pie should be eaten, the in
your face big chunk eater or the nibble around the edge of the pie until you
reach the bottom of the pie.
The
Small Clarkies although very nice it is not for the grown man or women,
it’s more of a training pie for the younger generation.
If
you have to buy a cold Clarkies it is best warm in your oven at home.
If
you lucky enough a visit a Clarks Pie Shop just before they close see if
they have any broken pies they are unbelievably cheap for pies mainly with
a crack in or a loose top.
Things you don’t
You
never buy a pie from a Fish shop or a Corner shop unless you need a vital
Clarkies fix.
Fish Shop…If you are forced to buy from a fish shop
remember to ask for the pie separate from the chips as when you get home
9 times out of 10 you will find the pie flatten. Also remember the pie
could have been warm up a few times during the day turning the pastry
into concrete.
Corner Shop… Most shops slap the pie in the
microwave, not a very good idea as it is to soft to eat, so buy a cold
one and pop it in the oven when you get home.
Never
share a Clarkies, it’s yours and you eat it.
Never
buy a Clarkies while under the influence of drink it’s a waste.
Never
put a Clarkies in a microwave it is against the law and the pie will turn
to jelly.
You
never put a Clarkies on a plate.
Never
use a knife and fork on a Clarkies.
Never
put gravy, tomato ketchup or brown sauce on your pie.
Never
buy a hot Clarkies and let it go cold. You save some money if you buy it
cold.
Clarkies are built to stand on their own and don’t need a foil tray to hold
it all together.
A world record for eating the most Clarkies in a given time has yet to be set
to my knowledge. My record for wolfing down a Hot Large Pie was set a number
of years ago just under 2 minutes but the pie was f**king hot.
The Clarks Pie Shop must be the only veggie free shop in Cardiff, possibly the
world.
On Sale at a Clarks Pie Shop, Yes
the Clarks Pie Shop sells only three item
Prices
Hot
Prices
Cold
Large
Pie
83
71
Small
Pie
56
48
Pasties
56
48
The Clarks pasties this an enjoyable little eat
for afters. Not as famous as the pie but in there with the best in the pasties
range.
Large Clarks Pie and Instant Mash Recipe
1.Make up a small portion of instant mash.
2.Bite a small hole in the top of a large hot Clarks Pie.
3.With a small spoon push in some of the mash into the hole. Mix in the mash with the rich meat filling.
4.Wait for a minute for the gravy to soak into the mash and eat.
My First Clarkies
I can remember it like
yesterday. I was mitching from school, which happened a
lot around this time with some friends, it was a hot day close to the summer holidays. We were
lying around the Marl Park in Grangetown about dinnertime someone
said they were hungry and wanted to get some chips. The fish shop was about to
close so we headed off but on our arrival at the fish shop it was shut but one
of my mate
said he knew where to get something to eat.
He knocked on is side door and asked
the man at the door if he could buy a pie, 'how many was his reply,' four. It was
not the first time I had saw the famous Clarkies but I never rated them I
believed a pie had to come with a foil tray. We handed over the money and in my
hand I had a pie with no foil tray. I remember it as hot and I burnt the tip of
my tongue also the pasty was so thick. It was a small pie and I was 14.
This was the first of many but it was not until I was about 16 at the Clarkies
became my official favourite pie.
Celebrity Clarkies Eaters
HRH The Prince of WalesThe Clarkies is a top pie and I plan to give the shop a Royal Warrant.
Tom (the voice) JonesI have a tray of pies flown out to my home in LA on a regular basis.
Robbie (The Pie) WilliamsI had my first Clarkies around Toms gaff and was hooked big time. Tom and
I are planning a song together, which we have written called “Clarkies”.
CatatoniaThe entire band loves them including any veggies.
StereophonicsNo
matter where we play in the world if there is not a pile of Clarkies on the
table the gig is off.
Desperate Dan Stuff
you cow pie, I’m a Clarkies man.
Your wife asks you to go to the Clarks Pie Shop to get two hot
large pies for dinner, do you?
1.Go and buy the pies and buy a small pie for a starter on the way home.
2.Go and buy the pies and eat both on the way home and say the shop was
shut.
3.Go and buy the pies and take them home.
Answers (A 1. Good idea but a
small pie!) (A 2. It’s the only thing to do, the wife will only be upset
afterwards eating it and want to go on a diet.) (A 3. Are you that sad.)
You come home from a night on the pop and as you walk up the
garden path you see the wife is still up and you have only brought home one
Clarks Pie, do you.
1.Eat the pie before you go in.
2.Go in and offer to share your pie. (You know she will say yes just because you didn’t bring home a Chinese’s).
3.Go in and tell her you are up for it and to go upstairs and wait for you.
So you can sit down and eat your pie.
Answers (B 1. Eat it, eat it.)
(B 2. You never share a Clark’s pie, it’s her fault for staying up.) (B 3.
you are drunk, just wolf down a Clarkies let her wait and have a kip.)
It’s your son’s birthday and you promised to buy him his
first Large Clarks Pie. On reaching the shop you find you only have £1.39, enough
for one large and one small hot pie’s you tell him to wait outside the
shop, what do you do?
1.Buy a large pie and small pie in separate bags and tell him you have a
small pie to.
2.Give him the large pie
3.Buy two small pies and tell him you will get him a large pie next time.
Answers (C 1. He won’t know
will he, life can be hard and he’s learning early.) (C 2. Are you joking,
give up a large one.) (C 3. Men don’t eat Small Clarks Pies.)
